{"id":61019,"date":"2019-03-02T23:43:50","date_gmt":"2019-03-02T22:43:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/slf.dgstage.se\/sylf\/moderna-lakare\/?p=61019"},"modified":"2019-03-15T10:57:47","modified_gmt":"2019-03-15T09:57:47","slug":"kronika","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/slf.se\/sylf\/moderna-lakare\/kronika\/","title":{"rendered":"Kr\u00f6nika"},"content":{"rendered":"

Du ringde sj\u00e4lv till SOS f\u00f6r att ber\u00e4tta vad du planerade. Kanske var det av h\u00e4nsyn till din familj, s\u00e5 att de inte skulle beh\u00f6va hitta dig. N\u00e4r ambulanspersonalen anl\u00e4nde var det enda de s\u00e5g en bl\u00e5 toppluva flytande p\u00e5 ytan. V\u00e4l framme p\u00e5 akuten var allt hopp redan ute, du hade verkligen best\u00e4mt dig.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

En kollega tar \u00f6ver mina telefoner och jag g\u00e5r tillsammans med polisen f\u00f6r att l\u00e4mna beskedet. Jag v\u00e4ger mina ord, inser att det f\u00f6rsta jag s\u00e4ger nu kommer att etsas fast i din \u00e4lskades minne. F\u00f6rst\u00e5r att det syns p\u00e5 min uppsyn p\u00e5 mils avst\u00e5nd. Jag \u00e4r s\u00e5 ledsen, men vi har inte kunnat r\u00e4dda henne.<\/em> Din sambo \u00e4r s\u00e5 f\u00f6rst\u00e5ende och tackar f\u00f6r allt vi gjort. Vi g\u00e5r tillsammans till kapellet. Hon \u00e4r arg, sl\u00e5r och f\u00f6rbannar. Varf\u00f6r sa du inget? Varf\u00f6r kunde du inte dela din b\u00f6rda med mig? <\/em>Jag st\u00e5r tyst bredvid, vet att ingenting jag s\u00e4ger kommer att tillf\u00f6ra n\u00e5got. S\u00e4llan \u00e4r otillr\u00e4ckligheten s\u00e5 n\u00e4rvarande som nu.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Till slut k\u00e4nner jag att jag m\u00e5ste tillbaka; att de andra patienterna och de tv\u00e5 yngre kollegor som jag handleder kommer b\u00f6rja undra varf\u00f6r jag dr\u00f6jer. Jag st\u00e4mmer av med kollegorna och g\u00e5r tillbaka till kvinnan med h\u00f6gt blodsocker och buksm\u00e4rta som jag var tvungen att l\u00e4mna n\u00e4r larmet gick f\u00f6r \u00f6ver en timme sedan. Det ska senare visa sig att hon har en spridd <\/span>pancreascancer<\/span>. Jag tackar min lyckliga stj\u00e4rna f\u00f6r att jag inte beh\u00f6vde leverera det beskedet till henne d\u00e4r och d\u00e5, eftersom jag verkligen undrar hur n\u00e4rvarande jag var i m\u00f6tet med henne. K\u00e4nslan av otillr\u00e4cklighet g\u00f6r sig p\u00e5mind igen.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00d6ver de sl\u00e4kten som g\u00e5 till ro, \u00f6ver de ungas dagande bo.<\/em> Under kv\u00e4llens k\u00f6rrepetition minns jag din ensamma bl\u00e5 toppluva och avskedsbrevet. Din sambos uppr\u00f6rda f\u00f6rebr\u00e5elser ekar i mitt huvud. Jag hinner t\u00e4nka att ibland ger det h\u00e4r jobbet mig mer k\u00e4nslor \u00e4n jag kan h\u00e4rb\u00e4rgera, innan t\u00e5rarna b\u00f6rjar rinna till de stillsamma tonerna.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Du ringde sj\u00e4lv till SOS f\u00f6r att ber\u00e4tta vad du planerade. Kanske var det av h\u00e4nsyn till din familj, s\u00e5 att de inte skulle beh\u00f6va hitta dig. N\u00e4r ambulanspersonalen anl\u00e4nde var det enda de s\u00e5g en bl\u00e5 toppluva flytande p\u00e5 ytan. V\u00e4l framme p\u00e5 akuten var allt hopp redan ute, du hade verkligen best\u00e4mt dig.\u00a0\u00a0 … L\u00e4s hela<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"local_restriction":[],"class_list":["post-61019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nModerna L\u00e4kare<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/slf.se\/sylf\/moderna-lakare\/kronika\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sv_SE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kr\u00f6nika\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Du ringde sj\u00e4lv till SOS f\u00f6r att ber\u00e4tta vad du planerade. 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